like sand in an hour glass

I lost someone who I loved very much. I lost her suddenly, the day after so many people saw how beautiful and happy she was: The day after she watched me graduate with my nursing degree, the day after she was playing with her grand baby, the day after she had the best day ever.

It’s been 79 cycles of 24 hours since I’ve been without my mother. 79 mornings waking up and realizing she still isn’t here. 79 nights wondering why she’s gone.

Obviously it isn’t easy losing anyone. But I have no choice but to set the example for my siblings that you have to stay strong and maintain your life through it all. I mean my mom passed when my career was starting. I had to study for NCLEX right after graduation. I took a week off for the funeral, and went at it the next 4. I passed boards, landed my first nursing job and am making life my own, what I’ve dreamed it to be.

These things only happen when you work your butt off.

My point is, I have younger siblings watching me. I want to lash out in frustration, I want to break stuff, I want to be angry. I am angry. But fact of the matter is, life only moves in the direction YOU make it.

I have to stay strong, I have to show them no matter what life throws at you-KEEP GOING. Let your faith be stronger than your fears. Allow yourself to feel grief, but compose yourself enough to stay above water.

Much love

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just a girl who lives on sarcasm, compassion and emotions. trying to make my way into the life I've always dreamed of. Writing through travels in van life and travel nursing from coast to coast. Mental wellness advocator, creative writer, nomad and travel nurse here. :)

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