Do you ever wonder how beautiful you look when you’re doing something you love, talking about your passion, dreams and accomplishments? The world around you is lucky enough to see your immense beauty shine through all those things-Do you feel that in your heart? If you don’t feel what others can see in you, follow me on my self love journey and impromptu experiment.
I’ve been pondering many ideas the last month or so pertaining to the way I make my choices. The plans I make differ from the ones I pursue. Why you ask?
I like am someone who will always put other people first. I am a nurse for gosh sakes. Since my CNA class in high school, I have dedicated myself to helping others. Although it feels amazing giving people the power to make your day great, pouring out of your own cup to give to someone else is simply self sabotage.
Rather than this being all negative aspects of who I am, I want to retrain my brain. I want to focus on how I am going to learn to put MYSELF ahead of every one else. It’s not a bad thing BY ANY MEANS to put others first, but NOT 100% OF THE TIME. Now, my brain is missing tons of the good connections because I’ve been giving too much of myself away. Mostly because the things I want to do I am afraid to do: because Tom Dick and Harry don’t want to come, and I don’t want to drag anyone somewhere they don’t want to be, so I miss out. I understand the things I want and places I want to go shouldn’t wait for a shotgun rider, but I’m still learning how to incorporate that to my reality.
I have always really been afraid of being alone. Being left alone or forgotten about. I think this plays a huge role in my dependency traits. I am working very hard with myself, to learn how to love my own opinions and to value the things I want to do.
So…Self love experiment: I haven’t really considered making a “game” out of this, but I propose I might follow it better if I make it fun. This weekend I have some things I want to do, things that will make ME my happiness. Once a week I plan on making one goal for myself, I want to do something for myself once a week. Something I want, something that makes me happy.
Every day I will make a goal for myself. I will build on these goals, and will aim to have 5 new skills that will retrain my brain. Today write a list of 5 things you truly value in yourself. None of which are physical traits. There are so many people in this world, what makes you, well YOU? Whether you believe all the 5 things right now, fake it to yourself, and at least acknowledge them today, and every tomorrow. Put a list on your bathroom mirror. Look at it every morning and smile.
My 5 things: You are brave. You are an advocate for everyone around you. You are patient. You love and feel things deeply. You don’t give up.
Lastly, Imagine your happiest day of life thus far. What is it. What were you doing, how much did you smile, do you remember the glowing feeling? The purpose in your heart? How much did you laugh? Were you being silly? Were you on Cloud 9? Remind yourself you will get that version of yourself back through this experiment. I promise you can love yourself again. Remember how you feel in this happiest moment, use it as motivation when its getting tough for you to choose yourself.
Till next time