I wish the journey was more cut and dry, the one where you learn to love yourself again. But the truth is, it involves a lot of give and take. This weekend was exactly what I needed to reboot myself, to find who I was-surrounded by what, and who I love the most.
I want to review some of the things I’ve done since my previous post, which if you haven’t read, go check it out! I have been practicing daily affirmations, getting off the couch more (less TV, more outside), following through with weekend plans, slowing down my processing/reaction time, reading, cleaning and thanking people for their help and role in my mental health recovery, and reaching out to a few old friends just to spread my support.
I feel clarity again.
I feel pure happiness, joy, passion, and love. I am surrounded by all of the life I’ve worked incredibly hard to give myself. I am a force of strength.
I am incredibly proud of my progress, from even the last two weeks. I had a breakdown on the countertop by the kitchen sink, and felt overwhelmed by thoughts I could not control. I couldn’t feel ANY positive feelings for months prior. But I got through that. After the initial feeling of defeat, you must choose yourself over your fears.
I believe the first step at getting better is recognizing what your mind was actually trying to do. Does your mind attack you when you’re at your best? No. It will go after you in your moments of venerability.
I have found that once I started giving myself some accountability and praise for the qualities I love about myself, coming out of your mind gets easier. Tell yourself good job, pat your own back-as often as needed.
All the days you have that are filled with feeling, passion, happiness are days leading up to the next time you feel everything is crashing down. I know the possibility of my mind declining again is high, however I have more tools now than I did previously. I can fight this smarter, It will get easier, once I believe the thoughts I’m reprogramming in my head.
It isn’t easy to retrain how you’ve been thinking your life thus far. We all have our share of experiences that molded us into the behaviors and actions we possess each day. Although difficult, it is possible to live with clarity.
For those of you who have been on the journey with me, thank you. For those joining now, thank you. Leave any comments/questions below