Reflections, Manifestations of Anxiety, Last Minute Thoughts.

I’ve realized and taken account for the lack of writing I have executed, and am here to provide an update. This blog is mostly read by its number one fan: Me. Seriously, I re-read my posts so often. It’s quite a great reflection exercise, seeing where your mind was taking you during moments of overload. Far more amazing is the progress a mind can make with a little (a LOT) of self-discipline. I also want to touch base in regards to some symptoms of anxiety, and a couple thoughts to leave you with.

I began reading “21 Rituals that will reignite your intuition”. I’ve read two books in the last two months and am starting a third, already ordered the rest of the series too! I read as often as possible, I actually dedicate time for reading. I have been outdoors for longer periods of time. I have limited my screen time, social media and tv time; (I usually sleep when tv is on anyway but I cared even less about tv the last two weeks). I would allow myself to separate my thoughts from my actual physical self. I am not my thoughts. I AM my actions. I worked on deep breathing, being kind (yes, when no one is around I intentionally smiled more, complimented others) and felt my spark again. I learned how to recognize a couple of my triggers, and voiced them to my love. I communicated with friends and expressed my love for friendships.

Spreading love to your circle will drastically change your outlook on life. Spreading love to YOURSELF will immerse your soul into a spiral of positive emotions- you’ll be left speechless. I know I’m on a very tall hill right now, but as long as I keep this going, remember to stay focused I will stay on this track.

I do want to touch base on some symptoms many battle every day, in addition to their diagnoses.

Mental illness’s tell us we can’t live without them. We don’t deserve to know what it’s like to feel calm, to not have so much stress, so many tabs in our brain always open, always on the edge of your seat waiting for a disaster. It’s so exhausting. Mental illness can also present as physical symptoms: loss of appetite, weight loss, acne, hair loss, weight gain, DM, electrolyte imbalances, cardiac issues, (chances of MI increase with consistent stress) hypertension, and SO MANY OTHER AWFUL THINGS). But it also comes with a community of similarities so understanding, so full of support and of true warriors.

This post turned into a couple of things. Most importantly, a reflection on my first week “ish” of my ritual book. I’ve been learning a new ritual almost every day, completing a ritual every day. I know this is helping me. I feel clear. This week is good. I also pointed out some symptoms I’ve been especially struggling with, and I’m doing this mostly to spread awareness. There aren’t a lot of people that are willing to ask some questions that may be answered In some of my posts. I have nothing to hide, I’m writing to heal myself. Simultaneously I’m writing to encourage others, to increase awareness, and to globally normalize mental health diagnoses. Please understand having absolutely zero appetite is not only painful but embarrassing, losing weight and not knowing how to gain anything or keep it rather-is scary. Knowing my physical symptoms are caused by some snoozing brain cells is frustrating, I’m still struggling. Please refrain from comments along the lines of “I wish I had that problem” because you don’t, truly. Actually it’s never appropriate to clap back reciprocated comments about unintentional weight loss/gain. Anyways, my point is you never know a full persons history unless you ask, so be sensitive around your spoken words.

Couple things to leave you with: 1. I heard a quote that is sticking to me, along the lines of, “if you are being nice, it’s because you want others to perceive you that way-but if you are kind, that is because it’s in your heart”. 2. Think about the first thing you do in the morning. Do you grab your phone? Check insta, snap, fb? You’re only acting out the simple fact that others opinions, comments, likes or shares will determine your mood. Wake up, LEAVE your phone, look outside, stretch so big. Take time for YOU in the morning. Establish your mood, tell yourself you’re beautiful or handsome, spread your arms so wide, for your mind will feel mighty and energized. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, ask for help, or take some time for yourself.


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just a girl who lives on sarcasm, compassion and emotions. trying to make my way into the life I've always dreamed of. Writing through travels in van life and travel nursing from coast to coast. Mental wellness advocator, creative writer, nomad and travel nurse here. :)

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