we’ve all heard it, a thousand times, “when one door closes, another opens”. Is that such the case?
my time in virgnia is near end and as i sit here thinking about how excited i am to continue the journey, i’m quite sensitive to the idea of leaving all my new found friends. although it is not goodbye forever, it’s goodbye for a while. i can only hope and pursue consistency in my efforts-and in theirs, to remain close while i continue to travel and chase my dreams. i extended wishes for a “last hurrah” to get pictures and memories to cherish as I go forward. i absolutely want to remember everyone i got the pleasure of getting to know here, and those who got to know me. i can surely say i am extremely thankful for my time here, my friends here, and the experience and patient bonds i established here. i wish i could personally thank each and every person who held influence on me in virginia, but that’d be quite an emotional experience and one franky, i’d wish to neglect at this time.
i know i began this journey with my eyes on one prize, but i can’t help but yearn the love i still want to eventually have with someone. although i am particularly focused on myself at large, i miss deep and stimulating conversation, emotional connection, chivalry, and intimacy with someone consistently. with my lifestyle i either will find someone with the capability to travel aside me, a long distance relation, or a short term affair- (no, not the cheating type). i’m not quite sure which i’d be most accepting of, but ill wait to find out.
the other day my therapist made me realize something. to the men, i’m a total catch. i work hard, am educated, have a great personality, have positive outlooks, am self aware, and goal oriented and more. i am a total fucking catch for theses boys. the problem arises them not being a catch for me. i need to not worry if “i’m good enough for them” but rather, are they good enough for me.
so until i find that special individual with the striking personality to sweep me off my feet it will remain I on this adventure, and i’m perfectly okay with that.
i recently (today) began planning a rough outline of my trip across the US. just last week i thought i was going to NC but had an unexpected call from my recruiter about a contract i simply could not pass up-CALIFORNIA. So here she goes, little miss Bree, all the way across the US. i’m really in my feelings the last couple of days because it is really challenging to remain close to my new friends, knowing im leaving them all soon. I feel awful, i feel like im inducing sadness where it shouldn’t be. I know my feelings are wrong, and I know people can tell i’ve been more distant but I can’t really help it. my body is preparing me for the solo journey that is to come very quickly. . its not just to protect them, its to protect me. its me processing the alone feeling i haven’t had in a little while. its eating and being hydrated, its finding safe spaces to park to sleep, rest and break between routes. its listening to little b’s voice, the girl i haven’t heard from much lately. its a lot more than protecting my friends.
with my new destination in track I hope to get a few things under wraps. initially, oil change and brake check, see if i need two or more new tires (also need a spare), perhaps a ladder or basket for the back of the van, and new speakers. I really hope the speakers work out because i wanna blast music on the road and i can’t really listen to alot of my normal stuff with the shitty ones from the factory.
with the holidays coming around i’m doing something very special for a family or two. i won’t share much except that, for i don’t need recognition. i just want to make it special for a familiy that deserves a break. im thankful for the chance, i can definitely help make that a reality to some.
not sure what else there is to update. . but stay tuned for more