i’ve taken some time from writing but its only because i’ve been working endlessly trying to rack up the money in my current travel assignment. i’m working on adjusting some of the technicalities and construction in the van, paying off the credit cards i racked up from the van purchase itself, and finding out how to life with the new means i’ve created. i’m quite used to being below the means necessary, and for once, i don’t and no longer live that way.
as far as the van goes, Mr Ollie actually, he’s doing well. we’ve moved some things around and i’ve finally gotten a better flow and overall utilization of space within the cab. i’m working with my friend and her man on installing cabinets around the top of the bed, with a storage across the back. once that’s in, i won’t pull my clothes out of a suitcase anymore! I got rid of a bulky file cabinet, thank GOSH. although it had immense storage space, the drawers were not adequate for travel life, and a lot of space was wasted on the contrary just by having it. oh yeah…let me stress how exciting it has been to utilize bungee cords in this journey! they save my shit from tumbling over, as long as i remember to use them that is. I am also looking to add a ladder, so i can use the top as a relaxation spot and for extra storage space when moving locations. have you ever checked prices on van ladders? its absurd really. but totally going to be worth the additional “level”, like a balcony in a house type space. once i get that, ill also need an extra tire. i didn’t realize until yesterday really that i hadn’t had one. not sure what my plan was if i had a flat tire, but i need a spare forsure. i ordered a different table, one that folds down into a table and up into a “shelf” on a wall. this will open up the cab tremendously. I literally can slow dance with someone in it, if i wanted too. maybe one day i will.
it’s intriguing to learn as the weeks pass, what works in the van, and what needs to be changed or altered. I would like to put up some paneling to have actual “walls”, or the such appearance of a more homey vibe, and i’m excited to be on the path to achieving that. as probably no one knows, i got t-boned before i left Michigan and had a pretty significant hit to my drivers side. i purchased a couple band-aide decals because frankly, i’d rather pocket the insurance money and keep that dent as a huge reminder of the crazy journey i am on. also, when i went to get it looked at, i was told they’d have to completely strip out the interior to which i am NOT partaking in. There’s no way i can (mentally) afford no van or home for an entire month, and also to redo my entire works on the inside just to fix two panels. Plus, i get an extra chunk of savings to put toward the interior decor an design, im not worried about some dent on the outside that doesn’t produce any functional issues.
if you would have told me in march 2021, when i had a tragic decline in my mental health, that i’d be living my absolute dream as a travel nurse in august, i’d look at you like you were an alien. if you would have told me i’d finally give myself a fighting chance against the depression and anxiety i’ve held for over ten years, i’d laugh in your face. if you would have told me i’d move to a new state, drive 800 miles away from the only place i’ve known, i’d jokingly ask for two of whatever you’re taking. if you would have told me that i’d find the true me, i’d step back and ask…”how?”
if you were to describe your most beautiful idea of life, of your life, how would you begin?
would it start laying amongst the stars on a clear night, or on the shore of a beach as the sunrises? would you be so resilient and courageous you’d chase and achieve all you ponder? as there are a billion more questions we can address, of the life we’d create if we were able to pick and chose our destiny…let realize that WE FUCKING CAN.
we are in charge of the life we live, of course not every single moment, but damn…from our attitude and perspective to where we go to eat, how we treat others, how we raise children, the goals and dreams we accomplish, the car we drive, the house we live in, WE GET TO CHOOSE. so what does it look like to you?
i’ll tell you some of my perfect world..once you find the next blog